Black Friday

Black Friday gives way to silver Saturday,
eclipsed by a golden Sunday and
dumped unceremoniously into grey Monday.
Tuesday will likely be white.
I wish I hadn’t spent all my colors last Wednesday.

Kale is the Key to My Heart

Tea mug is always clean, 

Hot sauce never runs out, 

All my bagel needs are met. 

No diamonds, but should I desire 

Kale at midnight, you would 

Shop your heart out for me.

Good Advice

Dear ViviLulu,
My wife and I spent all of our money on our new house and now we can only afford to buy one piece of furniture. My wife thinks it should be a bed so we have a comfortable place to sleep. But, I’m lobbying for a sofa - I figure we can always sleep on the floor. Which one should we buy.
 ~ Accidental Minimalist

Dear Accidental,
You should buy neither. Spend your money on a pool table - you can use it as a bed, a dining table, and when you’re stuck in your empty, expensive house, you’ll have something to entertain yourselves with. So good luck and rack ‘em up!

~ ViviLulu

Word Pool Wordplay

Remember that time we jumped into the word pool without any warning? Just a couple of nouns without any modifiers on, participles dangling in the breeze. The verbs flew into a rage and the adverbs were VERY upset, but no one cursed as loud as the interjections. It was chaos except for Calm and Judgement, silently treading water in the deep end, who quickly conferred and called out, “We sentence you to run on forever.”

Cap’n Blackbird

“Aye, aye Cap’n Blackbird!”

Ah, words I love to ‘ear. Always affirms me career choice. But, some days me ‘eart just ain’t in this lootin’ business. Been thinkin’ I might just turn the ‘ole operation over to me cousin, Brendan, the crow. Now ‘e really loves ‘im some shiny objects.

Don’t Let the Colors Overlap

“Don’t let the colors overlap, whatever you do.”

Chaya looked up from her painting. Her daughter, Mimi, a precocious 5 year old, was standing quietly at the side of her desk issuing this directive.

“Mimi, I have to overlap the colors. I can’t make the painting without that happening - it won’t look nice.”

“Please, Mommy, don’t overlap the colors. It will be bad.”

“What have you been watching on TV? Some Halloween nonsense? It will be fine. I paint like this all the time. Colors smudge and smear and mix and definitely overlap. Go play now and I’ll call you when it’s time to help me cook dinner.”

Chaya smiled to herself as she watched her serious daughter reluctantly leave the studio. She picked up her brush again, loaded it with cobalt blue paint, and after hesitating for only a split second, laid down a bold smear of blue, partially covering the alizarin crimson she had put down before being interrupted.

As she cleaned her brush, she felt a wave of nausea and a rushing sound in her ears. For a split second the room seemed to go dark. As Chaya blinked her eyes back into focus she looked around, panicking at her growing disorientation.

Where was she? This wasn’t her studio or even her house. It didn’t look like anywhere. Chaya couldn’t make out any discernible objects. She appeared to be in a ditch in some post-apocalyptic landscape, red to the east and blue to the west. 

“Meeeeeeee-meeeeeee!” Chaya screamed.

The fog that seemed to engulf her suddenly parted and her daughter, oversized like a giant, appeared above her.

“I told you not to overlap the colors, Mommy. I don’t know how you’re going to get out of that painting now.”

Crow Punnery

I stepped off the telephone wire and flew over to Charlie’s recycling bin for cawffee and a chat. Pretty soon it got too crowded and we couldn’t hear ourselves over the cacawphony. Just as I was about to leave, Pete thought he saw something shiny and everyone followed him, cawght up in the excitement. Ah, peace and quiet. It’s only 11:30, but I’m cawlling it lunchtime. I could murder a half-eaten
sandwich about now.